The joys of being mom.

A little while back, I saw this video on youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qehxjub5lyo

Its really funny, and clever and true...but it got me to thinking. This shows what its like for a single woman to take a shower...but what about the mothers out there?
Taking a shower when you have to take care of three kids by yourself requires more preparation than a musical production.
If I had more time, and a better camera, I would make my own video.
But alas, I'll just do it in written form.
So here it is. How to shower when you are a stay at home mother:

1. Throw on a movie that they wont get bored of in two minutes. Bribe them with cookies if they are good, and threaten them with certain death if they misbehave.
2. Make sure everything is clear, doors locked, and dog in his crate.
3. Run upstairs, stripping along the way. Throw clothes in the huge pile of laundry. Make failed promise that you'll get to it later.
3. Call downstairs to make sure everything is okay. Note: They will lie to you.
4. Turn on shower and jump in without waiting for the water to adjust.
5. Squeeze out cheap discount shampoo from an almost empty bottle and do your thing.
6. Do the same for the discount conditioner.
7.While you have soap in your eyes, your oldest one will come up and tattle-tale that his brother got into the cookies. Growl and tell him you'll deal with it later and he should go downstairs...or else.
8. Wash everywhere else.
9. If you are feeling brave, start to shave your Chewie legs. But then, while you're on the second one, you'll hear fighting and banging causing you to stop. Oh well, you didn't want to wear shorts today anyways.
10. Get out and dry as fast as you can and throw on your clothes.
11. Stomp down the stairs and demand answers as to why you can't have five minutes to yourself. Note: they will lie to you.
12. Realize that its either this, or waking up at five in the morning before they wake up to shower properly.

And there you have it. I'm a walking birth-control.